I wasn’t going to write about the recent tragedies of Manchester, my head still feels fuzzy just like the majority of the country and the world. But I just wanted to share how i’m feeling and whats going on in my head right now. In all the sadness, through all the salted stained faces and all the grieving families – there IS still so much good to be had. Yeah, this world is fucked up. It really is. But there is still so much joy to come, so many memories to be made and as much as my heart is breaking for everyone, I just can’t focus on all the negative news thats taking over every screen and radio right now.
I chose not to talk to my 3 about it. I chose not sit them down and tell them about what an awful society I have brought them into. I chose not to get upset in front of them, I chose not to frighten their little innocent minds. Maybe this is the naive way of parenting, and if so then thats fine, i’m happy to live this way. I couldn’t bear to tell them that children, of whom are the same age, have been taken away from their families. I couldn’t bring myself to tell them that at any moment, no matter where we are, this could happen to us too.
So we will carry on our daily routines, we will still smile and laugh with each other. We will still crack jokes at the dinner table and talk about our day. We will laugh a bit harder than normal, we’ll tell just one more joke, we’ll read one more book. I’ll take them to the park when all I want to do is collapse on the sofa and we’ll get the paints out after I have cleaned the entire house. We’ll be so very grateful for the fact we are still here, living and breathing, and we are healthy. I’ll just be holding them tighter and for so much longer, i’ll be telling them I love them one more time and I’ll have a heavy heart when I kiss them goodnight.
I am so incredibly grateful for these three in such a desperate and mournful catastrophe.